Archive | September 2013

keep scrubbing

keep scrubbing

everything is dirty. everything needs to be scrubbed. including myself. on my hands and knees, i start scrubbing. everything. floors. walls. woodwork. counters. appliances. doorknobs. everything is so dirty.
*he isn’t going to call you.*
scrub harder. get it cleaner. this house is a disaster, that is not how i was raised. everything is dirty. scrub the washer, put in laundry. scrub the dryer. remove the clothes. scrub the dryer again.
i feel the bleach cleanser burning into my hands, under my fingernails. good. clean. i need to be clean.
*you are just his whore. he’ll never see you anyway other than like today.*
scrubbing. scrubbing. everything must be scrubbed. finally, i scrub the bathtub and get ready enough to take a soak. it isn’t clean enough, scrub harder. when did this bathroom get so disgusting?? scrub harder. more bleach. the napkins i’ve stuffed up my nostrils keep my sinuses from burning.
now i clean myself. clean him off of me. scrub. scrub. scru….
*you’re a stupid whore. how old are you? you knew better. you only have yourself to blame this time.*
*he’s laughing at you…*
scrub harder…
*quit looking at your phone, he is never going to call…*
i’m so dirty. i can never get clean. i’m such an idiot.
~lay back gently into the soothing, warm water. relax. let the warmth wrap around your whole body. imagine it’s him holding you. just as i’m about to drift off, i look up and lock my eyes onto my daddy’s pistol that hangs on the shower rod:
~ then i notice how dirty the grout is. it really needs to be scrubbed ~


Official: Man’s death at Turner Field ruled a suicide

FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports

(CNN) — The death of a Georgia man who fell about 85 feet from an upper level of Atlanta’s Turner Field has been ruled a suicide, an official said.

Ronald Homer, 30, fell during a Braves-Phillies baseball game on August 12. The cause of death is blunt force trauma, according to the Fulton County Medical Examiner’s Office.

Betty Honey, an investigator with that office, said Thursday that Homer had taken his own life.

He had no other injuries besides those sustained as a result of his fall from the fourth level of the stadium shortly before 8:55 p.m. during a rain delay.

The game was scheduled to start at 7:10 p.m., but heavy rains pushed back the start time nearly two hours.

Homer’s was the second such death at an Atlanta sporting venue in the last year or so.

On August 31, 2012, a Tennessee fan died after falling about…

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i can’t believe that this is the nation who is going to take over the world!


Thousands of students in southern China have  been forced to sign a ‘suicide waiver’ before starting university.

More than 5,000 new pupils at the City College of Dongguan University of Technology in China’s Guangdong province have  been asked to sign a contract absolving the school of responsibility if any of  them commit suicide. This ‘student management and self-discipline agreement’ or suicide waiver also covers self-inflicted injuries.

With the largest population on Earth, a good education has long been seen as the only path to success in China. That said, experiencing quality higher education should be viewed as a pleasure as well as an honour. Education is supposed to broaden the mind, not just fill it! In a country without much of a sense of humour, students commit to studying up to 14 hours a day. Last year, one Chinese school sparked  outrage after using intravenous drips to boost pupils’ ability to  study. This regimented method of education…

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